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"Pig Faced". That's how the eBay auction described him. A bloated up, ugly, fat, pig-faced horse. Word of this auction spread across the model horse community, and everyone checked it out to laugh and sneer and exclaim in horror about the fat, ugly, freakish horse for sale. Who would even BID on such a horror! I did, of course. It was a FAS. And surely one I didn't have in my herd, and probably wouldn't ever see again! The bid I placed on that auction was ridiculously high, but I wanted to ensure that FAS would be mine! And in the end he was...for $26.00 and change, this bloated old thing, and his friend, the equally-deformed "Big Butt Racehorse", was mine. I will admit I felt some trepidation when the box arrived a little too quickly...it smelled of smoke and perfume, a not very appealing combination. The box was sliced open, and inside two very carefully wrapped and mummified shapes...wrapped as lovingly and carefully as if they were the finest bone china. But what was inside was no pretty trinket or treasure; no, not unlike a Pharoah of old, beneath the careful wrappings was a THING as deformed and repulsive as any man dead 5000 years. It was Bloaty.
A more distorted and hapless thing I've never seen! He was so swollen and stretched, I could barely get both hands around his belly! The bloating had caused his head to come upwards and his neck to swell outwards. But oddly enough, his legs, tail, and muzzle show no distortion whatsoever...whatever terrible thing that happened, happened mainly to the hollow air-filled spaces of his body.
There are many theories floating around as to just what DID happen to this poor horse to make him so. Surely no mere sunbeam through a front window could have done this much damage. Neither could any amount of sitting in a hot attic, or in the trunk of a car, or on the floor of Death Valley could have produced such extreme heating of internal air and softening of plastic with such speed and ferocity to create such a monumental bloat as this! No, the most logical explanation is that poor Bloaty is a survivor of a fire...a house fire perhaps. There is evidence of actual melting on his rump and jowls, and some yellowish smoke damage on his butt. What actually happened to this horse, we'll never know...but if a fire it was, I hope no humans were injured. But judging from the sad look on Bloaty's face, I fear the worst. But be sad no more, Bloaty, for you have a new home now, a home where you are loved and cared for! And a whole new life stretches out before you, full of wonderful new adventures! Come, constant reader, join us on our first adventure... |
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BLOATY GOES TO BREYERFEST 2002 |
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At long last! Bloaty has arrived at Breyerfest! |
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Two Great Horses, together at last! Bloaty visits with the Man O'War monument! |
Bloaty hitches a ride on a Reeves International golf cart, and meets a pretty little cowgirl on the way! |
Not everyone gets to sit on the back of Secretariat! |
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BLOATYWARES
Exclusive for "The Sims", your very own picture of Bloaty!! Sure to keep your Sims in the green zone!!
If you can't download, drop me an email and I'll send you a copy
VISIT
THE BLOATY STORE!
Exclusive Bloaty Merchandise!
T-Shirts * Mugs * Mousepads * Thongs * Boxer Shorts
* Lunchboxes * Tiles * Clocks * More!
Visit Bloaty's Friends!
El Bloato Madeline
Lucy Kusluch's Bloaty Collection Castaway Cob
Pot O' Gold
The Bride of Bloaty
The
Tale of Bloaty.
